


Maybe there's hope

by Violetta_Valery



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Crying During Sex, Dana Scully Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fox Mulder Angst, Memories, Motel room, On the Run, POV Dana Scully, Post-Episode: s09e19-20 The Truth, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:20:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29894139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violetta_Valery/pseuds/Violetta_Valery
Summary: This is my take on two original ideas by @msgilliana combined.
Relationships: Fox Mulder & Dana Scully, Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Maybe there's hope

**Author's Note:**

  * For [msgilliana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/msgilliana/gifts).



> Spoilers: Not really. This is post-season 9 finale, just as they go on the run.
> 
> Disclaimers: goes without saying, “The X-Files” characters are not mine. English is not my mother language, so excuse any grammar errors or unimaginative vocabulary. And of course, have fun!
> 
> Don’t be shy, leave your feedback! Ideas and requests for upcoming stories are most welcome!

ROSWELL, NEW MEXICO  
Late night

“Maybe there's hope.”

Mulder’s words still linger on my mind. We’ve been in this dusty, old motel room for a few hours now, in absolute silence if not for the rain outside. After so much hurt, and the utter fear of losing him yet again to those who’d already harmed us both over and over again, I can’t describe what it means to have him by my side, in my arms, entangled in my legs… even under such desperate circumstances. We’re fugitives now, and it’s impossible to say for how long. Almost a decade running to expose, be it conspiracies, literal or figurative monsters, now we must run to hide. It really pisses me off, the injustice of it all. The things they did to Mulder, the things they did to ME, and then they force us to vanish and live as outcasts. Maybe there’s hope, but right now, I can’t see much of it.

I need to get these thoughts off my head. Maybe if I concentrate on his breath, count the soft up and down of his chest against mine, I can relax and fall asleep, too. This is our first night together after almost a year apart; I never thought it would be like this. I always imagined welcoming him back in my apartment, leading him by the hand to my room and giving William for him to hold. William. Our baby. Our miracle. You’re always on my mind, but remembering you right now is just too much. I don’t think I can handle. I can’t be alone with my thoughts, I might crash.

“Mulder…?” my voice is feeble; it sounds to me as if it is my shadow calling to him. Yet Mulder listened, for he tightened our embrace and reached my ear.

“Scul… what’s wrong?”

“I need you.”

I missed his lips, his taste, so I took him with my every ounce of strength left. I wanted to see him so bad for so long, that now I just needed to feel he’s here and he’s real and he’s not going away again. Please, Mulder, keep kissing me. Hold me closer, make me forget all the BS we’ve been put through. Even if just for tonight.

I didn’t even bother to take my shirt off, I just lowered my pants and underwear and tossed them away. I was so distressed that I had trouble to unbuckle his belt and unzip him; thank God Mulder moved my hands away and took care of it. In no time he was naked from the waist down, and held me by the hips as I lowered myself into him. For a moment all I could feel was a lancinating sting, I wasn’t nearly aroused enough to take him, but then again, pain can make one forget their sorrows for a moment, so I fucked him anyway. Slowly, ache turned into pleasure, as Mulder touched me, worshiped me, and we both moved in unison – I’d almost forgotten how in tune we were in bed. 

“I missed you, Mulder.”

“I missed you too, Scully. There wasn’t a moment when I didn’t think of us, together.”

I was tumbling toward orgasm when his words hit me: us, together. A family, as unorthodox as it could be, but a family. And then it was no more, it was just our son and I, then myself, and then the two of us. The couple, the partners. Where was our family, damnit? 

I came with a scream. It’d been so long since I had such pleasure, but the sound soon mingled with an avalanche of tears that I couldn’t contain any longer. It was too damn overwhelming. I couldn’t even keep myself up for Mulder to finish, I just… bent, and found my forehead’s place on the crook of his neck. Gosh, it was so embarrassing. 

“Scully…? Sculls…? Baby, what’s wrong?” he immediately stopped thrusting and held my head against him. His hand so, so soft caressing my hair. It was more than I could stand. How dare he be so tender? “Talk to me.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t. It’s too much, too much.”

With the little strength I had left, I slid from him and staggered to the bathroom. I knew he could hear me sobbing from behind the locked door, but thank God he gave me some time on my own. Calming down a little, I sat on the toilet, peed, and then I noticed a small stain of blood between my legs. Something expected when you decide to have sex without being nearly moist enough, after almost a year and with an above-average-sized partner, and it struck me to see I’d hurt myself intentionally. Before I knew the tears were incontrollable again, but this time, Mulder knocked.

“Scully…? Talk to me, please…” his voice always had such power over me. His caring tone helped me breathe again.

“Mulder, I… I can’t right now, I’m sorry.”

“Please, Scully… don’t push me away. From now on, it’s literally going to be the two of us against the world, we need to communicate. Or we won’t survive. We can’t make it without each other.” 

Since when did Mulder become the reasonable one? He got me annoyed, but he was absolutely right. I opened the door with a long sigh, and there he was, sitting on the floor in front of me, his hands on my knees.

“And whose fault do you think it is, that’s just the two of us, Mulder…? I GAVE UP OUR SON! Our William’s out there, and who knows if they haven’t already got to him… did I give him up to be taken? To be…”

“Scully, listen to me. You did what you had to do to protect him. He’s out of the radar, completely anonymous, nobody’s going to find him, not even us. You did this out of love, this was an act of love. Don’t think it otherwise for a second. I miss William, as much as I missed you all those months, but I know he’s better off with the loving family who adopted him than he’d ever be with us. Can you imagine what it’d be for him to grow up running away? Our son needed normal, needed structure and education, and you gave it to him. What’s more proof of love than that?”

I didn’t know until that moment I needed to hear those words. Mulder was indeed my touchstone; I was mesmerized when I raised my head from where it was cradled, supported by his hands which were still on my knees. I looked at him and found the most tender, loving expression on his face. There was hurt, too, but he smiled with his eyes, and I felt safe. He reassured me of this toughest decision, and suddenly the room felt lighter. It was less difficult to breathe.

“Thank you, Mulder. For everything.” I could only whisper at this point, but I felt stronger as he gazed at me, and I could even smile for a second. That’s when I remembered something. “Oh, I have something for you. I guess it’s just a good time as any…”

He stood up and held my hands so I could, too, and I guided us back to the room. I found his gift on my wallet and placed it in his hand. 

“I made a copy of you. He was four months old here… he’d just learnt to roll over that day.”

And then Mulder broke my heart. He touched William’s picture as if it was a relic, as if he could hold our son through the image, feel his cheeks, smell his neck. And he cried with me. They weren’t guilty tears like mine before; we now shared tears of longing.

“We’re going to get through this, Scully… together.”

As he kissed me and I held him in my arms, I was sure we would.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you @msgilliana for the amazing ideas! I hope I did them justice!


End file.
